


this is all we know

by eversincewefellapart



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, Gender or Sex Swap, Skinny Dipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 22:30:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8508010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eversincewefellapart/pseuds/eversincewefellapart
Summary: We're falling apart; still, we hold together.





	

Philip bikes so fast to the lake her knees ache, hands sweaty on the handles, but when she finally spots Lukas by the bank, fiddling with a loose strand of hair, she suddenly doesn’t even feel the burn; just slows to a stop, swinging her leg off and letting the bike topple to the floor as she charges over.

“You texted,” she calls, and her cheeks pink up; she sounds breathless and that would be okay, but also over-eager, and that’s – not. Okay. Lukas looks up dazedly, and her bleach hair is a real rat’s nest; she’s chewing on the end of some of it now, and she spits it out hastily when she meets Philip’s eyes, looking away like she’s embarrassed too.

It takes two to tango.

“Yeah, man, hey.” She shoves her bangs from her face and pats the patch of grass beside her, still damp from the rain the previous night and the dew of the lake. “Beer?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Philip huffs, and smiles at her tentatively – Lukas responds with a barely-there half-smile and reaches into her backpack. Her shoulders are hunched and she’s grinding the heel of her boots into the ground, back and forth, hard, like she’s unaware.

Philip swallows, taking the bottle from her and checking the label. It’s Heineken.

“Dope,” she says as brightly as she can, and Lukas doesn’t even attempt to entertain her this time, just takes a swig that would put nothing on the ones the lonely old men at the bar take. It’s probably not the right time to be thinking that Lukas is hot and she would love to kiss her, but, alas.

Lukas is _really_ fucking hot, even when she’s a damn mess, and Philip would _really_ love to kiss her.

She’s been praying since she got the text, actually, that Lukas was horny and ignoring her _boyfriend_ and wanted to use Philip for a bit. Philip taps the lip of the bottle, shifting until she’s got her legs folded underneath her, heels of her Converse digging familiarly into her ass. Lukas keeps staring ahead, but her hand tightens around the bottle, her fingers flexing. Dear God.

“I’m not a lesbian,” she says finally.

Not this again. Philip fights the urge to roll her eyes tooth and nail. “Of course not,” she says pleasantly.

Lukas furrows her brows and finally looks at her. “I mean it, Phil, I’m not. I’m fucking not.”

“I know,” Philip sighs, and takes a drink from the bottle – liquid courage and all – before leaning forward. “Can we make out now?”

Lukas slaps the ground with the bottom of her bottle, the beer sloshing over her knuckles and splattering Philip’s knees and upper thighs. “I mean it! I’m not a lesbian like you!” she cries out.

"How the fuck am I supposed to believe you when you say that while wearing a flannel?" Philip deadpans.

“Jesus _fucking_ Christ,” Lukas snaps. Philip’s jaw twitches, and she leans back. Lukas scrubs her hands down her face, sucking in a heavy, angry breath. “Phil, I texted you to say – shit – we can’t do this anymore. We can’t hang out anymore. We’re over.”

Philip narrows her eyes. She thinks about replying; she could call Lukas out on her bullshit, she could ask Lukas if she wanted to kiss her right now, she could swear louder than Lukas is right now, angry mutters under her breath – but she just tips the bottle back instead, drowning out the ringing in her ears with the liquid before tossing the remnants to the side, where it rolls to the base of a mossy tree before stopping.

She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and pushes herself to her feet. Lukas winces, her eyes closing, and Philip almost feels sympathetic – poor girl thinks she’s _leaving_ – before unzipping her jacket.

Lukas’ eyes snap open at the noise, and Philip nearly gets whiplash watching her nearly break her neck as she looks up. “What –“

“Came all the way here, didn’t I?” Philip shrugs, tossing her jacket to the side. She grabs the hem of her shirt – ratty and printed with a nearly fully-faded hockey team logo, which one she doesn’t fucking know nor care – and sucks in a breath before pulling it up over her head.

Her hair sweeps over her back when she throws the shirt over to where her jacket lays, and then she reaches for the button on the tiny jean shorts currently squeezing her waist to death, kicking her Converse somewhere behind Lukas and wiggling them off down her legs.

She quickly contemplates leaving her bra and underwear on until she’s submerged in the water, but then notices Lukas, who looks close to keeling over, and summons the courage to reach behind herself and undo her bra.

“ _Philip_ –“ Lukas yelps when she drops it right into her lap. Her voice cuts off again when Philip hooks her thumbs under the elastic of her underwear and closes her eyes before shoving them down.

“What?” she asks, and it takes everything in her to not just mad dash to the river and cover herself up in the water; instead, she walks over slowly, not feeling as sexy as the underwear models on huge posters in the mall she’s trying to emulate.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Lukas hisses, and really, Philip’s not exactly sure. Maybe she just thinks Lukas needs to see her to realize she doesn’t actually want to stop this – whatever _this_ is – and pretending she’s actually interested in skinny dipping in the lake of a commonly cool town the day after a downpour feels less weird than just, like, fucking stripping off and sitting beside Lukas.

“Swimming,” she says flippantly, and smothers the urge to scream as she sinks her feet under the water. The things she does to get Lukas’ pretty mouth on her pussy, honestly. “If we’re over, I need to attract the next closeted girl, y’know? I have to constantly be ruining someone’s life.”

“I never said you were ruining my life,” Lukas says miserably, and starts saying something else, but Philip is already fucking forward and just submerging herself in the water, eyes watering uselessly in the coldness. If Lukas doesn’t come right over and fuck her as soon as she re-emerges, she’s draining the whole lake in revenge.

She won’t have to – when she does re-emerge, gasping and cold everywhere, spluttering and raking her thick tangle of her from her face, Lukas is there, shirt and underwear on. She’s peering in, face sad. She looks like a kicked puppy.

Philip feels a twinge of regret, and steadies herself from the ripples in the water by grabbing onto the mossy grass outside of the drop to the lake. Why is it that Lukas can always be the one with the upper hand, hurling the mean words like rocks, controlling when and where and how they do anything, but Philip is always the one feeling sorry? She hopes Lukas feels sorry, too, sometimes.

“Hey,” she says coolly. “The water’s great.”

Lukas blinks at her, mouth dropping open, before she full-body cackles. Philip smiles despite herself. “You’ve fucking _shivering_ , dude,” Lukas howls. She looks cold too, arms wrapped tight around her torso, nipples hard underneath the flimsy material of her shirt. Philip’s mouth goes dry.

“I am,” she admits, and then, quieter, “come warm me up?”

Lukas’ face goes from open to drawn tight again, and it only kills Philip inside a little bit. Sometimes – sometimes she wants to just. Set the whole town on fire and then, like, force Lukas out on her bike and take her to a huge city and just see her smile for longer than three seconds, a real, _genuine_ smile, not some fake fucking shtick for the _boyfriend_ or her dad or literally everyone else.

“You won’t tell,” she says, and it’s open-ended. Could mean anything.

The urge between Philip’s legs suddenly overwhelms the urge to fight. “Never,” she says, and reaches up, pinky finger extended. Lukas gasps out a tiny little surprised laugh, and hooks her pinky with Philip’s, before leaning back and gripping the edge of her top.

She’s just so fucking pale and clear and long, her weird-coloured hair adding to the mysticality of her as she slides into the water beside Philip. A shiver wracks over her, and before Philip can even think it through she’s hugging her, their breasts pressed up against each other, her fingers gliding up the center of Lukas’ back.

“Give me a warning next time, fuck, Shea,” Lukas mutters, but she doesn’t push her away, just hugs her back. She’s always cold – Philip is the warm one between them – but now she’s a saving grace against the cold water. Philip holds her tighter, heart threatening to beat out her chest.

After a moment, Lukas dips under with a pained noise, dragging her hands through her hair underneath the water, before pushing back up, sputtering. She’s wet everywhere now, and there’s a pretty drop threatening to fall off the curve of her nipple. Philip lunges forward and licks it greedily, holding Lukas’ hips tight when Lukas jerks.

Lukas makes the best noises when being kissed than anyone else. Philip’s kissed a few boys she wishes she never had, and they’re completely out of the running, but she’s – she’s _kissed_ girls, and they were all so much more classically beautiful than Lukas, but in the end she just wants Lukas, all the time, always, forever. She always thinks about sex with Lukas to stop thinking about holding hands with Lukas.

She’s got a mouthful of tit and a handful of tit, and Lukas is keening and pushing her back against the riverbank, hiking her legs up until she’s got her back on the moss and her ankles in the water, and she drags her desperate mouth everywhere – Philip watches in a daze, chin pressed to her chest, as Lukas’ long fingers knead her breasts and her tongue dips over her navel and her mouth closes over her cunt.

“Lukas,” she breathes, reaching down to hold that dirty white mop of hair in both hands, hitch her hips right up until Lukas’ perfect nose is digging against the connect of her stomach and center; in return, Lukas’ lashes brush against her as she squeezes her eyes shut and _sucks_ on her clit from the get go. “Lukas –“

Lukas pulls back and tucks a finger in her, using it to part her open wider and licks where she’s wettest with a guttural groan; Philip moans and cups the back of her head and leads her back in to the middle of her, wants to _feed_ it to her.

She’s fisting the grass then as Lukas just goes for it, eating at her with loud sloppy noises, holding her thighs apart lewdly, and she’s crying a little bit when she comes, and then crying harder when Lukas keeps _going_ , her dark, sharp, black-rimmed eyes opening just enough to make eye contact when she sucks on Philip’s clit again, harder.

Philip comes again with a yowl, riding up against Lukas’ whole face, shaking everywhere, belly quaking and heels of her feet digging into the wings of Lukas’ shoulder blades. Lukas looks _desperate_ for her, nudging her slick thighs, her mouth literally dripping wet, and Philip just groans weakly and shudders again, going limp when Lukas manhandles her shakily back into the water, pressing up against her and rutting their hips together fruitlessly.

Philip tips her head forward and slides their mouths together in a desperate, gross kiss that feels better than anything, and her knee glides in the water between Lukas’ trembling thighs, and it’s cold everywhere but when Lukas grinds down the heat of their bodies is so much right there, in that small circle between their hips and spaces between their thighs, and Philip whispers, hoarse into Lukas’ mouth without thinking, “one day – in bed, I want to do it with you –“

Lukas is humping her thigh for real, face broken, thumbing at her nipple and cupping the back of Philip’s neck to keep their mouths close. “For real,” Philip continues, “not just – y’know, some quick fucking grinding –“

“I –“ Lukas gasps.

“I want you to spread my legs on your bed,” Philip says, and her voice comes out surprisingly low, “and I want you to slip your between ‘em, Lukas, and I wanna – do _that_ with you, I want you to take my virginity –“

Lukas shakes it out in Philip’s hold, pressing down hard on her thigh, and Philip kisses her slow and sweet through it with tongue, closes her eyes and thinks about them naked and on Lukas’ bed, becoming one, and feels the ache throb not between her legs but in her stomach, painful and heavy.

-

It’s later, when she’s climbing off the back of Lukas’ motorbike a good block away from her house, hair dried in ugly strings and toes still wet in her Converse, that Lukas finally instigates a kiss. She reaches out in that familiar way and grips Philip’s wrist, demanding at first but then slacking to gentleness. Philip lets herself be bundled back in against Lukas’ body, pouting for no real reason.

“Can’t kiss you like that,” Lukas huffs, dropping her helmet to the dirt, and Philip puckers her lips animatedly, feeling giddy when Lukas smiles before pressing their mouths together, a smiling kiss. She reaches up and cradles Lukas’ hollow cheeks gently, kisses harder, but sweetly.

It’s nothing but a press for a minute or more, but when Lukas pulls back and knocks their foreheads together, meeting Philip’s eyes from underneath her lashes, she’s breathing a little heavily. Philip burrows closer, her jacket sliding over her shoulders, and closes her eyes, praying Lukas doesn’t go.

But she does. She straightens up and rolls her fingers over the handle of her bike, siting straight and sliding her helmet back on. Philip smiles weakly, scuffing her toes against the road and tucking her hands into her pockets.

“Bye,” she says, as Lukas says, “one day.”

They both freeze.

“What …?” Philip asks, and Lukas ducks until Philip can see nothing of her face, not even her eyes through the visor.

“One day,” she says a little louder, “I’m gonna. Fuck. Y’know. Take your virginity.”

Philip nearly passes out. “Oh,” she says, lightheaded. “Oh. Well. Alright. That’s … cool.”

“I know,” Lukas says, and reaches out to thumb over her cheek before she’s gone, driving down the road. Philip watches her go until there’s no sight of her left, and slowly starts to the house.

She smiles to herself helplessly then, feeling happier than she has in a while; more than she thought she could ever feel these days.


End file.
